The Fedz Ohh Noo!
by MollyRocket
Summary: The last thing I needed was a pair of FBI agents following me around at work. Then again, my clients were dying and I was about to be out of a job...


Cedar House Inn February 10 6:34 pm, CST  
  
Tuesdays were normally quiet at the restaurant, which made the nervous couple a little more at ease. Ryan, who normally would be spending a night like this at his computer, was amazed at how well he was getting along with Meg. Most women just smiled at him or just wanted to be friends, but she was actually interested, in HIM, for crying out loud! They had kissed a couple of times, leaving him feeling floaty and amazed, and Meg had looked a little breathless herself.  
  
After the dessert course had been served, Ryan got the shock of the evening. He could feel her hand sliding down his leg in suggestive movements, causing his heart to race and his blood pressure to rise. As he turned to look at Meg, she shifted closer to his body and slid her hand up his leg and slipped it behind his back. He smiled gently and leaned in closer and kissed her on her lips, slowly and gently, then more urgently.  
  
The concierge shook his head softly and sighed, hoping that Valentines Day wouldn't bring a horde of gropers and exhibitionists to his establishment. He was about to head back to the front desk when he smelled something burning. Horrified, he looked toward the door to the kitchen, but there was no smoke or clamor. The crackling of flames could be heard near where the couple had been, making him wonder if they had knocked over a candle. As he drew closer to their nook, a horrid stench assaulted his nostrils. Once he had rounded the corner, he could see the couple clasped in a passionate embrace, and burned to cinders.  
  
The Next Day Togetherness, Inc. 10:45 am  
  
I was drinking my morning coffee when Amanda stepped into my office, clearly shaken and very upset. At my concerned glance, she started shaking and sobbing.  
  
"Molly, it's happened again! What are we going to do? What am I going to do?" Amanda fretted dramatically as I stood and walked around my desk to comfort her.  
  
"What's happened again? Did Tony threaten you again?" I asked calmly, trying to keep an air of control about me.  
  
Amanda shook her head quickly, saying, "No! It's worse! Haven't you read the newspaper today?"  
  
"I was about to do that when you burst in. What has happened?" I asked, irritated immensely by her nonstop hysterics. The girl needed a sedative and I needed a painkiller. I returned to my desk, hoping to get some answers from the paper.  
  
"Another couple has died!" moaned Amanda as she grabbed a handful of tissues from my desk. "That's the fifth time this month!"  
  
I sat there, stunned, hoping that I had misheard her between the gulps, sobs, and nose honking, but the front page of the Times confirmed the bad news. "TWO MORE DEATHS IN CUPID CASE!" screamed the headline, and I groaned inwardly. This was not good. Not good for the business, not good for me, and especially not good for my clients. One sentence near the bottom really made my day better. Well, better if you want to have the FBI coming in and questioning you along with the local police. I folded the paper neatly and placed it in the bin beside my desk, then began an internal calming session. If they were coming to question me, then I needed to have my wits about me. And Amanda really needed to get a backbone.  
  
"Amanda, honey, why don't you go and take a break for a half hour, and get yourself sorted out. The police will be here soon, and you might as well put off all interviews until tomorrow," I said gently. Amanda nodded and grabbed another handful of tissues from my desk before exiting my office.  
  
I covered my face with my hands, wondering aloud what I had done to deserve this. When a squeaky voice piped up, "Well, you did follow his advice," I knew I was in big trouble.  
  
Meanwhile.. Cedar House Inn  
  
Special Agent Mulder was squatting beside the crime scene when Agent Scully walked up behind him.  
  
"Hey, Scully, is this going to put a damper on that candlelit dinner I had planned for the two of us on Saturday?" he asked sardonically as he scanned the scorch marks on the floor where the corpses had come to rest.  
  
"Like I would go anywhere near your cooking, Mulder. The initial test results do indicate the presence of an accelerant, but considering that there were alcoholic beverages present, the final results may take a bit longer. What are you looking at?" she said in one long drawn-out breath.  
  
"I'm looking at the absence of fire damage to any of the surroundings, which should have gone up in flames as well as the two lovebirds," he said before straightening up. He flexed his shoulders to work out the kinks before turning to his partner. "Scully, do you remember that case with Phoebe Green and Cecil L'Ively?"  
  
"I wish I could forget. He's still locked up, last I checked," answered Scully as she took one last look around before they walked to the front door. "The concierge for the Inn itself said that there were barely two, three minutes between his first sighting of Ryan Kirk and Meg Littrel and when he found their charred bodies."  
  
"That's awfully fast, don't you think?" said Mulder as walked up to the car door and unlocked it. Scully walked up to the passenger side door and tugged it open.  
  
"That's very fast, Mulder, in fact, I'm wondering just what it is we're up against. What aren't you telling me about this case? Phoebe Green isn't going to pop up again, is she?" asked Scully as she settled into her seat, hoping that she wouldn't have to look at that horrid bucktoothed Brit ever again.  
  
Mulder chuckled, "No, she's not involved with this case, at least I hope not." Both agents shared a look of undisguised horror before dispensing with the thought.  
  
"So?"  
  
Mulder sighed before turning to Scully. "Do you ever wonder if certain psychic abilities are passed down from generation to generation?"  
  
Scully sighed this time. "So...we're looking for a distant relative of one Cecil L'Ively?"  
  
Mulder smiled widely, "Scully, you read my mind!"  
  
"I wouldn't go so far as to say that, Mulder."  
  
Togetherness, Inc. 12:50 pm  
  
After I had gotten over the initial shock of hearing about Ryan and Meg, I decided to round everyone up so the rumors and wild speculation would be nipped in the bud. As I looked around the conference table, I noted Amanda's absence, since she was still gathering herself in the lounge room.  
  
Barb, my good friend and business partner, was rubbing her temples and looking harassed, while Mick and Kim were looking worried. Jade was as cool as ever, and Cassie was her usual laid-back self.  
  
"Well, everyone," I said, trying to find some words that would help the situation. I couldn't find any, so I decided to fake it and go on. "I have no idea what to do next. Ryan and Meg are dead, which means that all five pairs I've made this month are either in the morgue or at the funeral home. I don't understand how or why they have died, but I do know the police have asked the FBI to help them on this case. As a result, I feel that I should refrain from any further consulting until this, this mess gets sorted out."  
  
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, as my decision did make sense. If someone were targeting my clients specifically, then it would be best to not provide them with any more targets. Jade raised her hand to get our attention.  
  
"Will the company be shut down?" "I don't know at this point, since the police haven't said anything about shutting us down. I'm simply putting my clients on hold until the culprit can be found. Since all of the dead were my matches, I think it's safe for you to continue to do your work," I answered.  
  
"That is, if anyone is willing to put themselves at risk," added Mick, who was staring at his hands.  
  
Aye, they're at risk, laddie, as long as she's here came a small voice by my left ear. I swatted at it idly with my left hand, and Jade smiled at me indulgently.  
  
"Tinnitus acting up?" she asked gently.  
  
"With a vengeance," I said softly.  
  
"Sounds like it's stress-induced," offered Kim.  
  
"More like irritation-induced, since she had to endure another one of Amanda's crying jags this morning when the newspapers arrived," remarked Barb drily.  
  
I shook my head slowly as my colleagues put forth great effort to control their assorted titters and snickering quickly. Amanda was quite the drama queen, but she did good work and didn't deserve to have the rest of us talking about her behind her back. My face must have been telegraphing my thoughts because Mick added, "She's excellent, she's just being dragged down by that nasty relationship she's getting out of. It would make any of us cry to have to deal with that." All of our heads bowed in respect to Amanda, since she was really holding up well.  
  
"Let's approach this with as much calm and good will as possible. I know that our schedules are going to be interrupted today, and I'll try to take the brunt of it since I won't be seeing any clients," I said, trying to get the meeting back on track.  
  
"Actually, we've cancelled our appointments since the presence of uniformed police and who knows what else is going to be here would be detrimental to our concentration as well as our clients'. Tomorrow we'll decide on our further course of action, after the police have been," declared Barb.  
  
Internally, I was relieved that we wouldn't be trying to do business as usual today. My nerves were shot already, and I hadn't even finished my cup of coffee. That, and the fact that I was beginning to grieve for my clients. I called them my clients, but they were actually my friends, and I was just now realizing that I would never see them again.  
  
En route to Togetherness, Inc.  
  
Scully was flipping through a file as Mulder negotiated the mid-day traffic. Her brow puckered as questions formed in her mind. Mulder managed a quick glance at his partner while stopped at a red light.  
  
"What are you thinking about, Scully?" he asked idly as he avoided becoming one with the rear end of a dump truck.  
  
"I've looked through the files the police removed from the dating agency, and I don't see any personality tests or other such measuring device that would normally be used to place their clients with the appropriate person," said Scully as she scanned the contents of the next file folder.  
  
"I wondered about that myself. Did you know that they have a 92% success rate in matching up the people who come to them?" said Mulder in his 'come on, ask me more' voice.  
  
"No, I didn't...92%? That sounds like an artificially high success rate. Do they not count every person who comes to them?" asked Scully as she closed the folder. She immediately regretted looking up, because she now had to watch her life flash in front of her eyes as Mulder changed lanes multiple times to avoid getting stuck behind a little old lady in an early '80s model Ford. The elderly lady noticed his efforts and stepped on the gas, preventing him from getting in front her before the two lanes merged into one. Ceding defeat, Mulder had to merge behind the old behemoth, only to see the triumphant senior citizen raise her middle finger in salute to him as she lowered her speed by 10 miles per hour.  
  
Mulder muttered various curses under his breath before he realized that Scully had spoken to him. "Um, from looking at their files, I've figured that their success rate was actually 93% percent, including the people they subsequently refused to help because of personality disorders." He looked at his partner and clarified his statement, "You know, sociopaths, abusive traits, people who don't shower more than once a month."  
  
Scully smiled grimly as they finally reached the road for the agency. For some reason, the traffic today was miserable, and watching Mulder drag race with 70 year-old woman had not improved her mood. As they pulled up to the building where Togetherness, Inc. was housed, she noted the simple brick exterior, ample parking, and extensive gardens that were probably used for client meetings in warmer months.  
  
After parking the car in the lot, both agents walked briskly to the front door and entered. As they moved further into the reception area, they noted a profusion of potted plants, many of them flowers that had been encouraged to bloom out of season, like fuchsias and gardenias. At their entrance, an attractive young woman looked up from her desk and rose to greet them. As they walked toward her to introduce themselves, Mulder could have sworn he heard a small, squeaky voice say, "Bugger," as they passed by a particularly healthy white fuchsia.  
  
"Hello and welcome to Togetherness, Inc. How may I help you?" asked the receptionist in a sweet voice.  
  
As a well-oiled unit, both agents whipped out their badges as Scully said, "We're Special Agents Scully and Mulder with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We're here about the recent deaths of your clients."  
  
"We would like to speak with their consultant, a Molly Lewis. Is she here right now?" asked Mulder in an almost bored voice as he strained to hear any other voices.  
  
"She's in her office right now. Would you like for me to show you the way?" asked the receptionist in a falsely calm voice.  
  
"Please do," said Scully as she put her badge away. She turned and poked Mulder in his back. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I thought I heard something," said Mulder distractedly. "It was a voice from that plant as we walked past it."  
  
The receptionist had walked up to them, wondering why they were just standing there, and caught Mulder's last sentence. From the look on her face, Scully surmised that the woman thought Mulder was schizophrenic. "Come on, Mulder. We have some questions to ask."  
  
Mulder followed behind them, still staring suspiciously at the plant. As he rounded the corner, a voice from the gardenia said, "The Feds are here."  
  
From the philodendron a foot away another voice replied, "We're screwed."  
  
"Verily."  
  
I had almost finished my calming exercises, when a loud knock on my door announced that a man was waiting to speak with me. Yippee skip, I snarled inwardly as I called out, "Come in."  
  
The law enforcement whatever was tall, with dark hair, hazel eyes, and an interesting nose. He was giving me one of those puppy dog 'please tell me everything you know' expressions, and I could just see the rest of my day becoming an endless line of questions and snotty remarks about my job. A moment after he entered, a redheaded woman walked in and closed the door behind her. She had piercing blue eyes, a no-nonsense attitude, and a pile of what looked like our file folders, and what looked suspiciously like a medical file on the bottom.  
  
"Miss Molly Lewis? I'm special Agent Mulder and my partner, Agent Scully. We're here about the unusual deaths of your clients," intoned the man in a bored voice. He was looking carefully at the plants in my office, as if he feared they might step out of their pots and come after him. Some men are soo fixated on themselves. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and rose to greet them.  
  
"Hello, and thank you for coming," I said pleasantly. Agent Scully's right eyebrow rose at my greeting. I guess it would be unusual for people they were interrogating to thank them in advance. They both shook my hand before seating themselves across my desk from me. For some reason, the sight of that medical file was really getting on my nerves.  
  
"You said you had some questions for me?" I prompted them after we sat there for a few minutes. Agent Mulder was sitting in his chair, staring at my plants in an odd manner, and I hoped they weren't going to play good cop, insane cop.  
  
"We were wondering just what method you use to place clients together, Miss Lewis. You don't have any recognized personality tests or psychological profiles in your clients' files," said Scully as she opened the file on Ryan. She would have to ask that question.  
  
"Do you want the long explanation or the short, confusing blurb?" I asked, since they might have other appointments coming up.  
  
"Lay it on us," said Mulder as he slouched down in his chair and folded his hands in his lap. Scully nodded her assent, so I began my lame, but true explanation.  
  
"The idea for the business started in college. During the second month of my freshman year, I made friends with Sheila, who was living in my dorm. Separately, I made friends with a guy named Mike, who shared a freshman psych class with me. I really liked him, but didn't say much about it, but within a week of meeting him, he was dating my friend Sheila whom he had met through me. We've stayed friends all these years, and they even named a daughter after me," I recounted, trying to stay on subject.  
  
"And what does this have to do with the subject at hand?" asked Scully.  
  
I continued on, hoping she'd eventually get a clue. "At first, I thought it was a coincidence, but it seemed that whenever I made friends with a guy and a girl, they'd be getting together within a week. I was upset, because it seemed as though all the guys I liked were getting snatched up by the girls around me. I tried to get around it by not making friends with the girls around me, but the guys just didn't seem interested in me."  
  
Agent Mulder gave me a compassionate smile, so I kept going. "It was during the second half of my junior year that I met Barb, and while talking about our lack of dates, we found that we were both experiencing the same thing. She suggested that we use our situation to support ourselves until we could figure out what we want to do with the rest of our lives, so we started our service on campus."  
  
"So...what exactly do you do?" asked Scully, who looked bored.  
  
"Essentially, I become their friend, and after doing so, I can generally find someone else for them to meet. After having so many of my friends in college fall in love and marry, I've developed a sense for personalities and how they'll get along with each other," I answered, hoping she wouldn't laugh in my face.  
  
"I'm surprised that you don't use an inventory of interests to help guide your decisions," said Scully.  
  
"We tried that for a while, but it hindered more than it helped," I answered.  
  
Agent Scully then pulled out the medical file, and wouldn't you know? "According to your medical file from your college years, you were treated for depression," said Scully before she looked up at me.  
  
"Yes, that is correct."  
  
"Was that related to your...gift?" she asked me in a cross voice. Sheesh, she really needed to lighten up.  
  
"Not completely. Some of my close family members suffered from severe illnesses, and I spent a lot of time going home and visiting with them. I couldn't do a thing to make them better, but I worried and fretted about them until I was a mess. That, and my apparent future of unending datelessness kind of did me in," I answered, hoping they wouldn't suggest that I had killed my clients because I was jealous.  
  
"Miss Lewis, after watching all of your friends and acquaintances get together while you remained unattached, did you experience feelings of jealousy or anger?" asked Agent Mulder.  
  
"At first, yes. I felt like I was being gypped and then I wondered if I was just downright repulsive. But after a while, I just consigned myself to it and got on with my life, such as it may be," I answered.  
  
"Have you, or anyone in your family ever shown signs of psychic ability? Such as telepathy, the ability to move things with your mind, fires springing up for no apparent reason?" asked Mulder.  
  
I just sat there, staring at him in disbelief when I sensed movement from my rhododendron that hung by the door. I raised my left hand quickly, to be rewarded with a sharp, intense pain in my wrist. I dropped my hand into my lap and proceeded to pull the tiny piece of wood from my wrist as Mulder stared at me in confusion.  
  
"Sorry, but I just got a splinter in my wrist," I said as I worked to get the offending object out of my flesh. "And the answer is no, my family is pretty much normal."  
  
"Your file also recounts numerous complaints of tinnitus that started in college and suddenly stopped in your junior year. Were you able to find an effective treatment?" asked Scully as we both watched Mulder stand up and walk over to my plant.  
  
"There is no real treatment for tinnitus, but the symptoms eased up after I moved out of the dorm," I replied. Mulder began to swat at my plant, and I became rather annoyed, since I'd babied that plant since high school to get it to grow well. "Could you get your partner to stop molesting my plant?"  
  
"Mulder, what do you think you're doing?" asked Scully in a sharp voice. I could just hear her telling him to heel and sit, like a good dog. She turned to face me just as that thought passed through my head, causing me to smirk. She looked at me askance, so I figured I might as well tell her.  
  
"When you used that tone of voice, I could imagine seeing you telling him to come to heel and sit like a dog," I offered, hoping she wouldn't get really nasty with me. Instead, the corner of her mouth twitched.  
  
"I wish. He ignores most of what I say to him," she said evenly as we waited for Mulder to rejoin the conversation.  
  
"Does he act like he knows everything and that he's always right?" I asked. Scully nodded vigorously and set the pile of folders on his chair.  
  
"He'll get an idea in his head and run off with no backup, doesn't tell me what he's doing or where he'll be. Once he's gotten himself in some sort of jam, he'll expect me to find him and help him find whatever it is he's after," the words poured out of Scully's mouth. I could only nod and offer my sympathy, since I've heard that complaint about a lot of men. Not FBI agents, but each man seems to find his own trouble and wallow in it. At the back of my mind, I was going through the list of available guys I knew.  
  
"That sounds like it could be really dangerous for both of you. I thought that there were rules or guidelines that you had to follow regarding investigations?" I asked, still trying to remember who it was who would be great with her.  
  
"There are, but since we investigate cases that are out of the Bureau's mainstream, he seems to think that the rules don't apply to him," she answered softly.  
  
"What type of cases do you investigate?" I was rather curious, since this wasn't what I considered to be typical of cases given to the FBI. After all, it didn't involve the federal government or any of its employees.  
  
"Stuff that used to get tossed to the side: UFO sightings, alleged alien abductions, conspiracy theories, odd or unusual occurrences, that sort of thing," she replied. I was surprised, as I had assumed that there were better uses of federal manpower and funds. I didn't say so, which I think endeared me to her.  
  
"So your partner feels that unorthodox cases require an unorthodox approach?" I asked. Scully nodded her head emphatically, while I kept an eye on Mulder. He had quit hitting at the plant, and was now peering into the pot itself, as if the mysteries of the universe might be revealed to him. Finally, he grew tired of my plant and returned to his seat and plopped in it, only to stand up again to remove the folders. He set them on my desk and parked his backside in the seat. His eyes looked bright, yet they had a glazed appearance.  
  
"Miss Lewis, since you're in the love business, do you believe in Cupid?" he practically chirped at me.  
  
Scully groaned under her breath while I looked at him in shock. "Cupid as in a cherub with wings who flies around shooting arrows at people causing them to fall madly in love with each other?" I asked, since it's not wise to assume.  
  
"That'd be the one," he smiled at me happily.  
  
"Never seen or heard from one. Why?" I answered truthfully. He nodded his head distractedly, then picked up the folders while excusing himself. He walked out the door, and Scully had to hurry to keep up. I shook my head, not quite understanding what had just transpired. I did, however, correctly assume they'd be back, so I made a couple of phone calls. It always pays to be prepared.  
  
Solar Inn 7:34 pm  
  
"Mulder, could you at least tell me what is going on?" grumbled Scully as her partner dialed a number on the phone. He pushed the speakerphone button and sat back as they waited for the person on the other end to pick up.  
  
"Whaddya want?" Frohike's cranky voice blared over the speaker.  
  
"I'm really feeling the love here, Fro. Were you able to analyze that tape I sent you?" They could a shuffling sound in the background as Frohike dug through a pile of papers.  
  
"Yeah, we analyzed it. Where'd you get it? It's got some crazy stuff on it I've never seen before," said Frohike as his mind cleared.  
  
"Really? Like what?" asked Mulder as he popped another sunflower seed in his mouth.  
  
"Hey, I asked you first, G-Man!" retorted Frohike.  
  
"It's from a wire tap at a business that is connected to a series of burning deaths," answered Mulder.  
  
"Hunh, don't tell me then!" snapped Frohike. Both agents could hear the man grumbling under his breath along with what sounded like an avalanche of disks sliding across the countertop. "Ok, the weird background noises you pointed out were indeed voices, but they were also present in the room with Miss Lewis and Officer Kelly. Even though they were high-pitched like chipmunk voices, there was no evidence of mechanical distortion to make them sound as they do."  
  
"So...those little voices are actually made by beings that are small in stature?" asked Mulder gleefully.  
  
"That's as much as I can figure out. Hey, was this tape really from a dating agency? Is that where you go to pick up hot chicks?" asked Frohike in an oily voice.  
  
"Umm, not quite, Frohike. Thanks for the help," answered Mulder.  
  
"Anytime," said Frohike before hanging up.  
  
Scully gave Mulder an odd look before heading off to her room to shower after a long day at the morgue.  
  
February 12 Togetherness, Inc. 10:10 am  
  
I was sipping from a bottle of water when the door to my office was flung open. Expecting to see Amanda in full dramatic pose, I was startled when Agent Mulder's voice asked, "What, you're not glad to see me today?"  
  
I looked up, embarrassed that I hadn't greeted the agents properly. "I apologize; it's just that I was expecting one of my colleagues."  
  
"Which one is that?" asked Agent Scully as she resumed the seat she had used previously.  
  
"Amanda. She's always looking for a way to turn the simplest things into a full-scale drama," I replied. Scully nodded, since she had questioned Amanda the day before.  
  
"Miss Lewis, I've noticed that you don't have anyone scheduled for today. Why is that?" asked Mulder.  
  
"I decided that it would be wise if I didn't see anyone for a while, since all of the deceased were my clients," I replied, surprised that they hadn't seen the obvious reason for it.  
  
Agent Mulder nodded in agreement before asking, "Do you know of anyone who might want to harm you or the people who come to you?"  
  
I had been thinking about that since the attacks first began, but I had no concrete proof, and no guarantee that they would believe my story. "I suppose there might be someone that I refused to take on as a client."  
  
"Why would you refuse to help a person find their special someone?" asked Mulder.  
  
"Well, personality would have to be the primary factor. Not all people who want to get into a relationship are necessarily fit to do so," I said. "I once put a couple together where I had some misgivings about the woman, and she turned out to have serious control issues. Actually, she was a sociopath, and eventually had to be jailed after she tried to kill the guy I introduced her to."  
  
"That must have put a damper on your business," said Scully.  
  
"It did for a while, but we instituted measures to prevent that from happening again. I did find a decent gal for the poor fellow, and they're now expecting twins," I replied.  
  
"You would think that the guy would have had enough of women," muttered Mulder.  
  
"Yeah, but he didn't come to me, I sort of performed a stealth get together for them," I said.  
  
"Ahhh, sort of like a little busybody," grinned Mulder.  
  
"Something like that," I replied. "Other than that, I have no idea why someone would start attacking my clients."  
  
"Do you think that maybe one of the pairs had the ability of pyrokinesis?" asked Mulder.  
  
I stared at him for a moment while wondering why I had to be the one stuck with this mess. "No, none of them ever mentioned or alluded to any such abilities, nor did they display them."  
  
Mulder sat back in his chair, fiddling with his tie. Since they were just sitting there, I decided to get the ball rolling again. From what I'd seen from cop shows and the like, a stakeout was usually involved, along with a lot of bullets flying through the air and explosions galore. Real-life police didn't experience such things very often, but then I was dealing with the Holmes and Watson of weirdness. Who knows what would be normal for them. "Are you planning to do something along the lines of a stakeout?" I asked.  
  
"As a matter of fact, that's exactly what I planned to do," said Mulder. "I was thinking that you could do your thing, set me up with one of your clients, and wait for something to happen."  
  
Scully hid her mouth behind her hand as she tried hard not to shake with laughter. I felt bad about ruining his plans, but I do my best to be upfront with people.  
  
"Actually, I don't have anyone I could pair with you, Agent Mulder. I do, however, have one gentleman I believe would get along with Agent Scully very well," I replied gently.  
  
Scully stopped laughing and her eyes looked like those of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. Mulder's face fell, and I felt terrible for having to shatter his illusions. I don't place my clients with just anyone.  
  
"Actually, Miss Lewis, I think it would be better if Mulder were the one to...go on the date," said Scully cautiously.  
  
I shook my head, saying, "Like I said, I don't have anyone for Mulder, but there is a rather adorable doctor who has been waiting for a date for a long time. I honestly don't understand why he hasn't found someone already, but he works long hours at his job. I've already told him about you, and that you're only going to be here for a few days."  
  
Scully opened her mouth to protest, but I cut her off. "He's over in the meeting hall, where the luncheon is about to begin. Let's get you introduced, shall we? By the way, what is your first name?"  
  
"Dana," she replied.  
  
I walked around my desk and steered her to the door. Mulder stayed in his seat, looking shocked and miffed. I told him I would be right back to clarify a few things before I whisked Scully down the hall and to the right, where the delightful scent of food met our noses. I knocked on the door, and stuck my head inside. A man who had been sitting at the end of the table saw me and excused himself from his conversation and walked toward me. I stepped back and he closed the door behind him so we could have some privacy for the moment.  
  
"Dana Scully, this is Dr. Jackson Weller. Jackson, Dana is going to be in town for a few days and I thought that you two could get together and have some fun. Is this agreeable to both of you?" I said smoothly while watching their faces. Jackson's handsome face lit up at the prospect of a date, and Scully was standing there in shock. I guess she expected my clients to all be physically unattractive or poorly socialized. After I'm done with them, they can be the life of the party if they so desire.  
  
"Dana, I'm pleased to meet you," said Jackson as he offered his arm to the shocked redhead. She quickly regained her composure and smiled up at him as she took his proffered arm. They slipped into the luncheon hall, and I could hear him exclaim, "You're a doctor too?!"  
  
I turned and walked back to the hallway, where Lynda, the receptionist, handed me a box with lunch in it. "I thought that you and the agents could use some food," she said softly before hurrying back to her desk. I really need to find someone for her, I thought as I carried the fragrant box back to my office.  
  
Mulder looked up at me rather sadly when I returned with food instead of his partner. I surmised that he was used to monopolizing her time and attention.  
  
"They seemed to hit it off rather well, Agent Mulder," I said softly while setting out the sandwiches. He picked up the Italian meat sandwich, and I selected a club sandwich. We both sat there companionably, munching in silence. Once we had finished, I decided to get this over and done with. "I'm curious, Agent Mulder, why did you ask me about cupid yesterday?"  
  
"Because I think that you employ, somehow, a being that is known as a cupid to further your business interests," he announce in a triumphant voice.  
  
I thought for a moment before answering. If what Agent Scully said was correct, nobody believed half of what they put in their reports. "Ok, I'll come clean. What I first thought was tinnitus was actually my cupid singing to me," I said offhandedly.  
  
"Your cupid?" asked Mulder, his brow furrowed.  
  
"Yes, there's one who seems to help with my match-making decisions more than the others," I continued.  
  
"There are others?" he asked, incredulously.  
  
I nodded before resuming my explanation, "I think he's Scottish, which would explain the odd shrieking noise in my ears."  
  
"Shrieking noise?"  
  
"He plays the bagpipes when I'm by myself," I finished.  
  
"Have you ever seen him?" asked Mulder, looking over his shoulder at the rhododendron. Then he stopped and asked, "I thought you just said that you had never seen or heard from a cupid?"  
  
I nodded, "I've never seen or heard from the 'cupid' that you indicated. They don't exist as far as I'm aware. "  
  
"So what are you referring to?" asked Mulder.  
  
I sighed for a moment before speaking to the plant stand to my left. "Arthur, Tavish, could you please come here for a moment?"  
  
The agent stared in shock as two small figures flew up from my miniature rose bush and hovered for a second before coming to the desk and landing beside my left hand. Both creatures were no more than two inches tall, and resembled fully grown men, simply miniaturized. They did have little hummingbird wings sprouting from their backs, and were clothed from the waist down in rather natty slacks and finely crafted footwear. Tavish, being my appointed cupid, had plaid slacks that matched the fabric portion of his bagpipes. His quiver and bow were casually slung over his well- defined shoulder, and he gave me a broad wink as Mulder continued to stare.  
  
"Well lassie, what have you gotten us into now?" he squeaked pleasantly. I could only shrug my shoulders and wait for the man to regain the ability to speak.  
  
A few minutes later...  
  
Agent Mulder was still speechless while the two cupids flew around his head, examining him and squeaking remarks to each other that I couldn't understand.  
  
Mulder finally found his voice and asked, "Miss Lewis, why do they hang out around you?"  
  
I was about to answer when Arthur butted in. "Well, it's like this: she has no romance in her soul." Hmmph, we'll see if I ever give you more chocolate, you little ingrate.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" asked Mulder, who had noticed the expression on my face.  
  
"Well, let me rephrase that, son. We are safe with Molly because she keeps her life free of the baser influences that could quickly destroy us," said Arthur.  
  
"Base influences? Such as?" asked Mulder.  
  
"Soap operas!" piped a voice from the rhododendron.  
  
"Romance novels!" said someone hiding within my African violet.  
  
"Pornography!" chorused the palm trees behind me.  
  
"Chick flicks!" answered Tavish.  
  
"Why don't you like those things?" asked Mulder.  
  
"Guys, bring out Philippe," ordered Arthur. There was a loud humming noise, accompanied by shouts of "Hold him steady!" and "Where're his pants, for crying out loud?!" A cloud of the little guys appeared above my palm trees, carrying what looked like a miniature cage. Inside the cage, it looked like a little winged monkey was hopping around, trying to break out.  
  
"What happened to Philippe that he no longer resembles the rest of you?" asked Mulder as he leaned in for a closer look. Then he drew back once he realized that the imp was completely nude.  
  
"Oh, Philippe read one too many a romance novel and it broke his mind," said Arthur.  
  
"Uh, I thought he read only the one?" asked Tavish.  
  
"Precisely."  
  
"Agent Mulder, essentially what happens around here is this: I help get people together in good, stable relationships, and these fellas cement the bond by providing the fireworks," I stated, hoping to get the conversation back on track.  
  
"Is that true?" Mulder asked of Arthur. Arthur nodded his head calmly. The rest of their conversation was interrupted by shouting and a squeaky voice cackling above the din.  
  
"Bwahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!" shrieked the crazed little cupid as he shot into the air. He hovered for a moment before he caught sight of me. Oh crap! I tried to catch him, but he zoomed past my hand and ran into my chest. The impact knocked the air out of my lungs, and when I could breathe again, I realized the little creep was inside my blouse, no, make that my bra.  
  
"ACK!" I yelped in shock and disgust.  
  
From the depths of my bra a small voice trilled, "Ooh la la!" I tried not to freak out as I realized that there was a tiny, naked cupid trying to crawl deeper into my brassiere.  
  
Agent Mulder had jumped to his feet and was beside me, trying to decide whether to offer his assistance or just look down my top. I wondered right then whether he had been an agent for very long, because he had a tendency to freeze up when startled. I was about to say something when the little monster started moving even further in while squeaking, "Ohh, vhere ees ze neeple?!"  
  
That was the last straw. I clamped one hand on my breast to keep the little cretin from molesting me any further and tried to reach in and grab him by his monkey tail. Thankfully, four of the guards zoomed into my view and said, "Ma'am, let us get him out."  
  
I had the sudden sensation of a lot of feet pattering around on my chest, followed by the fluttering of many wings. The five of them popped out suddenly, with Philippe trussed up tighter than a turkey. He looked at me sadly and said, "Ack, und zhere ees no lace on zee bra eizher."  
  
"Yeah, Scully doesn't wear lace bras either," said Mulder sadly. His face grew pale as he realized what he had uttered and tried to get out of the hole he had just hopped into.  
  
I fixed on Philippe a glare so cold and full of wrath that he shrieked as if in pain. There was a loud 'poof' and I was suddenly looking at a normal, tailless cupid who was in desperate need of his drawers, pronto. He was whisked away before I could say or do anything and Tavish was hovering in front of me, offering profuse apologies and uttering promises that it would never happen again.  
  
Mulder interrupted the little Scot's litany of condolences, saying, "Did she just cure him?"  
  
Tavish paused for a moment before turning to Arthur. "Is he cured?"  
  
"He will be, if he avoids the romance novels," answered Arthur. He turned to look at me and smile, saying, "Thank you for helping Philippe. We're fortunate that he was only in the intermediate state, where the changes can be reversed. If it had gone any further..."  
  
"What would he have looked like?" asked Mulder.  
  
"His tail would have lost its fur and become pointy at the end, his wings would have lost their feathers and be leathery in appearance, horns would sprout from his head, and his eyes would glow red. The lost ones only answer to their queen, the ever insidious Syphilis," Arthur uttered the name in a hushed voice, as if he didn't want anyone to hear the name.  
  
"Uhh, I thought her name was Syphilie?" asked Tavish.  
  
"My mistake. The ever insidious Queen Syphilie," amended Arthur.  
  
"How is that bad?" Mulder asked as he tried to get a frame of reference for this conversation.  
  
"They only delight in the destruction of relationships, their primary weapons being unrealistic expectations and uncontrolled lusts. That is why we try our best to avoid romance novels and porn, because they instill those unreasonable ideas into our minds," answered Arthur.  
  
"I'm just curious, are there more female cupids?" asked Mulder, looking around. He was probably hoping they went topless like the guys.  
  
"Yes there are. They tend to flock more around the other consultants, because they can deal with the chick flicks better than we can," answered Arthur.  
  
"Was there ever an evil king, or do the females get that title?" Mulder asked.  
  
"Yes, there was a king, but the queen turned him into lunchmeat," Tavish answered.  
  
"What type?" asked Mulder.  
  
"Deviled ham," he replied. The agent looked rather repulsed. I gathered that he had resorted to eating that infamous potted meat product at one time or another in his line of work.  
  
Mulder sat in his chair again, looking from Arthur to Tavish to me. I could practically see the wheels turning in his mind. I decided to get to the point.  
  
"No, you cannot take one and examine him," I stated firmly. Mulder opened his mouth to protest, but I continued on. "Something you could keep in mind, Agent Mulder, is that cupids exist in a symbiotic role with humans. When two people fall in love with each other, they give off a lot of energy that could become dangerously unstable. The cupids help by siphoning off the extra energy and by enhancing the experience of being close to the one you love. They also require prodigious amounts of chocolate, but that's another story entirely."  
  
"So what does that have to do with examining one?" he asked seriously.  
  
"Each cupid has his or her own people to watch over, and if they are not there to reduce the energy given off, the relationship could be damaged by passions that are too strong, and sometimes personality disorders can be magnified," I answered.  
  
"And your point is...?" asked Mulder.  
  
"What is today?" I asked.  
  
"February 12," he answered promptly..  
  
"And what day will it be 2 days from today?" I cajoled.  
  
"Valentines' Day," he said before his face became a white mask of terror.  
  
"And what happens on Valentines' Day? Lots of expectations, lots of chocolate, and hopefully even more canoodling than you can shake a stick at," I explained patiently. "With so many people together, it would be troublesome if you removed one of these guys."  
  
"So they encourage people to feel more love because they feed off the good vibes people give off when in that state?" said Mulder.  
  
"Exactly," I answered.   
  
"Is it possible that some cupids could have had something to do with the deaths of your clients, be it unintentionally?" asked Mulder.  
  
Tavish and Arthur zoomed back to my desk, suddenly looking very upset.  
  
"Well, the 'lost ones' as my guys call them, are capable of general overall nastiness, but I hadn't heard of them setting people on fire," I answered. "But I have been troubled by the absence of the cupids who were watching over the deceased couples. All five of them have disappeared."  
  
After all of this chatting, my throat was drier than Death Valley, so I got up from my desk and walked over to my small refrigerator to get something to drink. "Agent Mulder, would you like something to drink? Soda, water or OJ?"  
  
"OJ will be fine," answered Mulder weakly from his chair. I leaned over and opened the door to the fridge, only to have my ears assailed by painfully high-pitched singing accompanied by bagpipes. One of the more outgoing cupids who went by the name Tim jumped onto the top of the fridge and warbled:  
  
There's something weird in the fridge today  
  
I don't know what it is  
  
Food I can't recognize  
  
A chorus behind Tim sang "Ooooooooeeeeeeeouuuouuuuu" at that moment.  
  
My roommate won't throw a thing away  
  
I guess it's probably his  
  
It looks like it's alive...  
  
And livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge  
  
Livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge  
  
I opened the door to the fridge, and ignored the pungent odor that washed over me. I pulled out an OJ for Mulder and a Pepsi for myself. All the while, the cupids continued to mock my homemaking skills.  
  
There's something gross in the fridge today  
  
It's green and growin' hair  
  
It's been there since July (Oooooooooooeeeeeeeeeoouuuuuouuuuouuu)  
  
If you can name the object  
  
In that baggie over there  
  
Then mister, you're a better man than I...  
  
I slammed the door shut, causing the chorus to fly up in a huff, while Tim lost his footing and fell on his tush. I looked around for Tavish, and found him puffing away at his pipes. When my gaze fell upon him, he inhaled, causing the pipes to shriek. I was about to make a grab for him when I saw movement in the rhododendron. I raised my right hand in time for Mulder's OJ to take an arrow for me. Wordlessly, I handed him the bottle of juice and returned to my seat.  
  
"They...sing pretty well," said Mulder hesitantly.  
  
"That's the last time I let them listen to Weird Al," I said firmly. My ears perked up at the sound of voices outside my door, and a moment later Scully opened my office door and stepped inside, looking very relaxed and happy.   
  
"How did your meeting go?" I asked, hoping that Mulder wouldn't go into a sulk.  
  
"It went pretty well," Scully answered vaguely. She then turned to Mulder and said, "Jackson and I will be going out to dinner tonight."  
  
"That's nice," muttered Mulder. Scully looked at him sharply before noticing the arrow that was still sticking out from his drink.  
  
"What happened?" she asked while pointing to Mulder's half-empty bottle of OJ.  
  
"Long story," answered Mulder before he gulped down the rest of the juice. He tossed the bottle into the closest trash receptacle. As he stood for a moment to stretch, a loud ringing noise came from his jacket. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and flipped it open. "Mulder."  
  
Both Scully and I waited patiently as we waited for him to finish the call. After four minutes had passed with only the occasional "unh huh" from Mulder, he told the caller thanks and flipped the phone shut.  
  
"That was Langly, he found a relative," Mulder announced calmly. A relative of what?  
  
"Here? In this city?" asked Scully, who was looking apprehensive.  
  
"She lives over on Water Street," he answered. He turned to me and explained, "We once investigated a case where people were burning to death, but with no apparent cause. It turned out that our suspect could ignite fires at will."  
  
Well, that certainly explained the strange questions. "Are you going over there now?"  
  
Both agents nodded and walked out my door. I sat still in my chair for a few minutes, relieved that they had gone. After 15 minutes of silence, a little voice beside my left ear said, "Do you think we should have warned him about the Monkey Queen?"  
  
I shook my head, saying, "No, there are some things that defy description."   
  
2387 Water Street Garner Residence  
  
Mulder cautiously approached the door of the house, as if to make himself appear harmless. Scully just sighed in annoyance and marched up to the door and rang the doorbell. A moment later, a familiar face answered the door.  
  
"Amanda Grammer?" asked Scully in surprise. Amanda nodded her head slowly.  
  
"Are you related to Taryn Garner?" asked Mulder.  
  
"Yes, she's my cousin. Why do you ask?" replied Amanda.  
  
"Is she here at the moment? We have a couple of questions we'd like to ask her," said Scully.  
  
"No, Taryn went up to Chicago a couple of weeks ago to visit her friends. Why are you asking about her?" asked Amanda.  
  
"We were checking some genealogical records, and her name came up in relation to another case we had worked on in the past. It's nothing serious, we were just hoping to satisfy some questions we had," answered Mulder. "May we come in?"  
  
Amanda jumped and opened the door wider while saying, "I apologize for being so rude. I'm just out of sorts right now, with the problems at work."  
  
"Yes, with the deaths of so many clients, it would be upsetting. It would also be bad for business," remarked Scully as she settled herself on a chair in the living room.  
  
Amanda nodded her head. "A lot of my clients were refusing to talk to me until I pointed out that all of the dead people had been handled by Molly."  
  
"Do you have any idea of why that is?" asked Mulder as he perused family photos on the fireplace mantel.  
  
"No...but I wonder about her sanity sometimes," answered Amanda.  
  
"How so?" queried Scully. "I've walked past her door and heard her carrying on conversations with people who aren't there," Amanda confided. Mulder raised his eyebrows, encouraging her to elaborate. "I've looked in to see her talking to her plants, her fridge, and her desk drawer. I've heard about people talking to themselves to help work through ideas and such, but most of what I've heard has been along the lines of 'don't you even think of trying that' and 'when you plan a raid on them tonight, try not to get your knickers set on fire'."  
  
Mulder's demeanor was serious and professional as he asked, "Has Molly shown any other signs of mental distress?"  
  
"No, I mean, I know I bore her at times when I go on and on about my current dating woes, but she's pretty level-headed. Very much in control of her feelings and her surroundings," answered Amanda slowly.  
  
"She's a control freak?" asked Scully.  
  
"Well, she's the one who best deals with them. She knows how to spot one and how to deal with their behaviors better than I do. I cater to the shy, wall-flower types, Mick does the same-sex matches, Jade works best with temperamental artistic types, and Barb handles the regular people who are new to town," recounted Amanda.  
  
Scully glanced over at Mulder and noticed the small smile on his face. He saw her looking in his direction and quickly assumed his professional expressionless expression.  
  
"What did you want to ask Taryn?" Amanda asked suddenly.  
  
"We had encountered a distant cousin of yours a few years back and were wondering if the same traits might have been passed down on your side of the family," said Scully diplomatically.  
  
"What kind of traits?"  
  
"Unusual occurrences, such as power surges, unexplained fires, that sort of thing," mumbled Mulder.  
  
"Umm, nothing that I've ever heard of," answered Amanda.  
  
Scully shot Mulder a meaningful look before saying, "Thank you for your time, Amanda. I hope that we can get all of this cleared up as quickly as possible."  
  
Amanda merely nodded her head and followed the agents to the door. As they walked down the sidewalk to their car, she turned around and walked toward her kitchen. She stopped in front of the door leading to her basement and listened before opening it.   
  
Mulder popped a couple of seeds into his mouth as he got into the driver's seat. Scully mutely settled in and waited for him to start the car. After a minute had passed, she turned to him and asked, "Mulder?"  
  
"Scully, there's something about this that doesn't make much sense," he mused quietly as he turned the key in the ignition and put the car in gear.  
  
"And what would that be?" asked Scully, who had her mind elsewhere.  
  
"Why would anyone want to kill ten people? Jealousy? Envy? Is there something else involved that I'm missing here?" he mumbled as he pulled onto the main thoroughfare to the police station. "Aside from being clients at the same match-making agency, what set these people apart?"  
  
"Well, they all died in different locations, all restaurants. Alcoholic beverages were involved at each scene, and the damage to their surroundings was limited to the furniture they were sitting on and the floor," Scully answered, trying to list what she had observed from the crime scene and from the photos in the file.  
  
"Doesn't fire normally rise? Shouldn't the ceilings have been damaged?" asked Mulder.  
  
"Normally, yes. I will admit to being stumped by this, Mulder. Not much of this makes sense," said Scully.  
  
Mulder nodded his head in agreement. As he pulled up to the next stoplight, he noticed the same older lady in her early-model Ford sitting beside him. The woman looked over and flipped him off. The light turned green and she sped off down the road as if they were on a drag strip.  
  
"Scully, do you think that woman wants to be pulled over for speeding?" he mused as he followed after the cranky senior at a more leisurely pace.  
  
"She does seem to have it in for you," said Scully bemusedly.  
  
Mulder grumbled under his breath as he drove to the police station. "You'd think that the police in this town would have ticketed her by now."  
  
"They can't be everywhere at once," replied Scully absent-mindedly as she critiqued the wardrobe she had brought with her for the case. She was sadly lacking in frilly, feminine outfits, but most men didn't seem to mind.  
  
Mulder nodded in mute agreement. They were both silent as he pulled into the parking lot of the police station. They had climbed out and started walking to the front door when Mulder's cell phone started ringing. "Mulder," he said briskly into the phone. He pulled the door of the station open for Scully and followed her inside. He continued to listen intently as they negotiated the halls, making an occasional remark, until they reached the office of Detective Mackels. Scully opened the door to the detective's office, only to find him on the phone. Both Mackels and Mulder stopped talking and put their phones away.  
  
"Agent Scully, Mulder, the tox screens have come up negative for any known accelerant. There wasn't enough alcohol content in the wine to have been able to burn them so completely," stated Mackels after the two agents had seated themselves.  
  
"And this is consistent with the previous deaths," Scully commented.  
  
"Yes. Quite frankly, we're stumped, we have no real suspects, even the woman who introduced the couples has an airtight alibi," added Mackels quietly.  
  
"She was working the nights that the couples were killed?" asked Mulder.  
  
"Yes, she was present for several business meetings and dinners with clients at the times in question," answered Mackels. "Which puts us back at square one. Have either of you found anything that would be helpful?"  
  
Both agents shook their heads while Mackels' countenance grew even grimmer.   
  
My home 6:47 pm  
  
I was washing the dinner dishes when I heard the doorbell ring. I wasn't expecting anyone, and I had no intentions of being nice to yet another salesman. They didn't seem to have enough education to know what the 'No Solicitors' sign on my door meant. I peered through the viewer on my front door, to see Agent Mulder's grinning face blocking my view. I opened the door, hoping he wouldn't come in and stay very long. I had business to attend to.  
  
I opened the door and said, "Good evening, Agent Mulder. What brings you to this part of town?"  
  
"I had a few questions about your...associates. May I come in?" he replied smoothly.  
  
I stepped aside to let him in while saying, "Just so you know, try anything and I'll beat your brains out with a cast-iron skillet."  
  
His grin grew so wide, he resembled a Cheshire cat. "Don't worry, Scully's got me trained."  
  
I nodded and closed the door and followed him into my living room. He settled himself on the couch while I plunked down in my favorite comfy chair. "You said you wanted to talk about the cupids? What did you want to know?"  
  
"What exactly causes them to become like the lost ones?" he asked calmly.  
  
"I don't know the exact procedure, but once the cupids become monkeys, they usually stay that way. They even have their own queen, who is quite a character. But, back to your question, Syphilie kidnaps the monkeys and has them changed over to be her minions," I answered.  
  
Mulder appeared to ponder that for a moment. "I'm curious, how does the change affect their personalities and intelligence?"  
  
I had to pause for a moment before answering, "When they become monkeys, they retain their personality, but they are less inhibited. You might have noticed that Tim was pestering me today about my fridge at work. He was a monkey for a while, but when he took part in a raid on my cupids' home, they captured him and turned him back."  
  
"Do you know how they managed to do that?" asked Mulder.  
  
I shook my head and continued. "Once they become monkeys, I have noticed that their sense of humor and intelligence seem to increase. Then again, if we had to follow people around, waiting for them to fall in love with each other, our minds would become numb with the boredom."  
  
Mulder nodded his agreement and continued to sit there on the couch, thinking. I waited for him to come out and say what was on his mind. Finally, he asked, "Why did you say you didn't have anyone for me to date?"  
  
I sighed. This isn't what I like to deal with in the evening, but I stood up and walked around the couch to stand behind him, looking for the telltale sign. Sure enough, there it was, peeking out from under his suit collar. I quickly plucked the little critter from his neck and dangled it in front of his face for him to see.  
  
"That's not mine!" he gasped indignantly. The little imp started wailing piteously when she heard his denial. "Mulder, how much porn do you possess?" I asked, since this was a porn imp. You can distinguish them from the other types of imps by their tails. Garden variety imps had long tails, whereas porn imps had short, thick, perky tails. Not to mention the suggestive manner in which she was dressed.  
  
Mulder's mouth opened and closed several times with no sounds coming out. Finally, he hung his head. "Several videos, magazines..."  
  
I nodded my head gently. "The main reason I didn't try to find someone for you was that Scully would have a more difficult time adjusting to the cupids. You, however, seem to lack that skepticism, so I decided to enlist your help. I don't like having my clients turn up dead, nor do I appreciate having my cupids disappear."  
  
I felt something brush by my legs, and I knew that my kitty, Rachel had smelled the imp in my hand. I looked down and saw her sweet, expectant face looking at me, waiting for her evening snack. Then she caught sight of the imp and her eyes grew wide while her tail started swishing back and forth. The imp also noticed this, and wisely shut up and quit struggling. I walked over to the bird cage hanging from my ceiling by the kitchen and place the imp in there for safe keeping, as some people are actually quite attached to the little buggers.  
  
As I turned back to Mulder, I noticed that he had a strange expression on his face and a cupid arrow sticking out of his chest. Oh, crap!  
  
Mulder smiled at me sweetly while saying, "So, do you have any plans tonight, Molly?"  
  
I was about to say something when another arrow came at me from my jade plant in the front window. I was able to sidestep it while advancing on the offending cupid with great speed.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?!" I shrieked at the tiny creature as he desperately tried to nock his arrow back. He took aim and fired again, this time into the center of my palm as I reached down and grabbed his feathered form. From my hand I could only hear muffled squeaks until I loosened my grip on him.  
  
"I was thinking that you needed some company," said the cupid.  
  
"Who do you work with?" I demanded nastily, since he wasn't familiar to me.  
  
"We followed these two agents out here from Washington, DC," replied the cupid. "And for your information, I'm Andy."  
  
"That's sweet and all, Andy, but what do you think you're doing, shooting him then me?" I asked, dreading the answer.  
  
"Well, we mostly follow Agent Scully around, but I was thinking that if we could get Mulder to go after someone else, Scully might just settle down with this Jackson fellow," replied Andy.  
  
"But why me?!" I whined.  
  
The cupid looked at me uncomprehendingly, so I picked up a family picture and pointed at my brother. The cupid looked at the photo, looked at Mulder, back at the photo, then at me. "Uh, oops?"  
  
I nodded grimly. "Oops is right. Now what am I supposed to do with him?"  
  
I suddenly heard a screech behind me, and I turned to see Rachel sitting behind Mulder and his head with her paws. "Rachel, what are you doing?"  
  
She paused and gave me a look that clearly said 'What does it look like I'm doing?' Mulder started to get up off the couch, but Rachel started in on him again.  
  
"Could you call off your attack cat?" pleaded Mulder as he tried to dodge the blows.  
  
I was about to tell her to cease and desist when the phone rang. Still holding onto the offending cupid, I snatched up the phone and asked, "What?!"  
  
There was a pause on the other end before an authoritative voice said, "This is Officer Cole with the police department. Who am I speaking to?"  
  
"This is Molly Lewis. Is there a problem?" I replied, my heart sinking in my chest.  
  
"There was a fire at the McKennon Room, and we need to speak with you," answered the policeman.  
  
"Was anyone hurt?" I asked quietly.  
  
"No one died, but we need you to answer some questions," replied Cole. "Will you please meet us down at the station?"  
  
"Yes, I'll be down there in about 20 minutes," I replied. I hung up the phone before turning to Mulder. "There's been another fire, but they said there weren't any deaths."  
  
Mulder's face lost that dopey look immediately and assumed his professional demeanor. "What restaurant?"  
  
"The McKennon Room," I replied tersely as I hunted for my purse. I turned to speak with him again, but he had already flown out the door and was backing out of my driveway. Once I had deposited the cupid in the bird cage with the imp and found my purse, I headed to the police station to see what was going on. The McKennon Room 7:10 pm  
  
Mulder screeched to a halt in front of the blockade surrounding the restaurant. He flashed his badge at the firemen and police already on the scene as he ran inside the building. Inside was a scene of chaos, with smoke obscuring his view. He hunched over and moved in, looking for the source of the fire. In the corner of the dining room closest to the kitchen, he found Scully and Jackson helping two paramedics intubate a woman who had burns on her arms. A man was sitting nearby, watching as his date was fitted with the breathing apparatus. His clothes looked like they had been singed, and he was constantly coughing.  
  
Mulder crept over to the man and asked, "What happened?"  
  
The man started at Mulder for a moment before replying, "We were celebrating our first year of dating when I heard this weird, high-pitched noise, and the tablecloth between us went up in flames. I grabbed Kate and got away from the table before I put out the flames with my jacket."  
  
Mulder patted the man gently on his back before asking, "Did you two meet each other through Togetherness?"  
  
The man shook his head while saying, "No, we met at church. Molly introduced us, though, since we were both shy about it."  
  
"Molly Lewis?"  
  
"Yeah, we're all in the same Sunday school class," replied the man.  
  
Mulder felt someone tap his shoulder, and when he looked up, he saw one of the emergency techs motion to the man to come with him. Mulder grabbed the man under his arms and lifted him to his feet, while the tech put his arm around the coughing man's shoulders and led him out. Mulder followed the two outside into the fresh air, and looked around for Scully.  
  
Scully was standing by a fire truck outside, her face smudged with smoke and ash. Mulder trotted over to her and put his arm around her shoulder before asking, "What happened?"  
  
Scully shook her head as if to clear it before answering, "I don't know, Mulder. One moment we're eating dinner and the next we hear this odd noise and the table beside us goes up in flames. Fortunately, the wait staff was prepared and had several fire extinguishers on hand."  
  
"What was it that you heard?" asked Mulder.  
  
"It seemed like some strange, high-pitched noise...it's hard to explain," replied Scully softly.  
  
Mulder looked around the building. "Where's your date?"  
  
"He went with the paramedics to help stabilize the victims," she replied calmly.  
  
"Did the noise sound like, um, cackling?" asked Mulder as he steered Scully towards their rental car.  
  
Scully looked at Mulder with concern in her eyes. "Mulder, how did you know about that?"  
  
"Just a good guess," replied Mulder. He helped Scully into the passenger side seat of the car before he settled in. He drove away from the restaurant and headed for the police station, trying to piece his theories together. Police Station 7:45 pm  
  
I had already been questioned once by Detective Mackels before Mulder and Scully arrived from the restaurant, looking like they'd been through a serious fire. My chest started feeling rather leaden at that point, and I had the feeling that everything was about to go south, big time.  
  
Mackels pulled a list out of a folder and quickly skimmed it before asking, "Is this a complete list of ALL the people you've matched up, not just your clients?"  
  
I nodded my head to say yes, and he went back to skimming over the list. "Well, actually, I set Agent Scully up with Dr. Weller earlier today."  
  
He set the list down as if to say 'not another one!', but picked it up again and started making notations. I continued to sit there, feeling like the world's biggest weirdo. Mackels got up and left the room, which suited me just fine since I was tired of being asked the same questions over and over again.  
  
An hour later...  
  
Agent Mulder stuck his head in the door and motioned for me to follow him. I trudged slowly behind the agent, dreading any further questions. I simply wanted to go to bed and never have to think about this ever again. We walked down the hallway and turned to the left, then to the right before we reached the room where everyone was waiting. Several faces turned to look at me before returning to the task at hand.  
  
"Miss Lewis, do you have any appointments lined up for tomorrow?" asked Agent Scully.  
  
"Just one, I'm taking Rob Harris out to the golf course for a lesson," I answered.  
  
"Miss Lewis, we believe that someone is targeting you through your clients. It is our opinion that this person has gained enough confidence from these attacks on your clients and friends, that you will probably be the next target. With or without a date," stated Scully in a no-nonsense manner. "We think that it would be best if you pretended to be dating Agent Mulder, in order to draw the arsonist's attention away from your clients."  
  
"Um, not to hurt Mulder's feelings, but he's not my type," I ventured gently.  
  
"Why not?" asked Detective Mackels. I pulled a photo from my wallet and showed it to him. His mouth twitched momentarily before he said, "Just pretend, all right?"  
  
I sighed and nodded my agreement, and was startled by an arm that was resting across my shoulder. I looked up and Mulder grinned down at me rakishly. "Schnookums," he crooned.  
  
"Someone kill me now," I grumbled under my breath. My Home 10:17 pm  
  
As I entered my front door, I could hear a host of high-pitched voices in my living room. That was when I remembered the cupid and imp stuck in the cage in my living room. I shut the door and dropped my purse on the couch as I made my way over to it. I wasn't too surprised to find it empty, but now I had two MIA menaces in my house. I stood still and listened intently, and followed the sound of the voices to my kitchen. I flicked on the overhead light, only to find every surface covered with monkeys. This day was definitely in the top ten for worst day of my life.  
  
I looked around the kitchen to see if they were just there for all of my bananas, and my eyes rested upon what could be nothing other than the Queen herself. She raised a margarita glass to me and shouted, "Join the party!"  
  
Great, not only was my kitchen filled with monkeys, but they were lushes to boot. "I don't keep alcohol in my house," I replied evenly.  
  
"That's ok, we brought our own!" squeaked another monkey, who was wearing a blue frock.  
  
I sighed heavily as one of the little critters punched one of the buttons of my boombox and loud rock music filled the room. Not only were they holding a kegger in my kitchen, but they had gone into my bedroom and foisted my only source of music. Times like these made me immeasurably glad that I didn't keep a diary or journal.  
  
After listening to their hoots and slurred attempts to sing along with 'We Will Rock You', I walked back to my couch to pick up my purse. There was no way I was leaving my money and credit cards out for them to find. As I entered my kitchen again, the music had moved on to another song that always annoyed me. I didn't know who the singer was, or what it was called, but I didn't need a headache on top of all my troubles. I reached over and changed the radio to the local Christian music station. Suddenly, my kitchen was filled with a chorus of howls and protestations.  
  
I lowered the volume of the radio before speaking to the Queen, "I can also play Milli Vanilli if you like." That announcement was met with screams of terror and anguish, and the Queen looked horrified. "I apologize for not being a good host, but I need some quiet tonight."  
  
She nodded and replied, "We'll let it pass. This time."  
  
"Thank you, I appreciate your graciousness in the matter. What is the reason for your visit?"  
  
"We wanted to assure you that we weren't involved in the attacks on your people," the Queen replied.  
  
"Thank you. I had assumed that someone else was behind the attacks," I said. "I've never seen you do anything dangerous."  
  
The Queen nodded her agreement and hovered there in front of me. She looked behind me in the doorway and her eyes grew wide. I turned slowly, only to find myself on the business end of Agent Scully's service revolver.  
  
Scully was staring at the monkeys, her eyes agog at the sight.  
  
"Can we sit down and explain this?" I asked.  
  
"Wha-what are those?" she asked, indicating the minute creatures with a nod of her head.  
  
"Let's go sit down, and I'll explain it to you. Believe me, it'll take a few minutes," I answered.  
  
She shifted her grip on her gun and nodded for me to walk past her into the living room. "What about them?" she asked.  
  
"They're not going anywhere soon. It takes a couple hours before the booze wears off and they can fly again," I answered helpfully while leading the way to my living room. I sat down on my couch and waited for Scully to settle into my chair across the way from me.  
  
"I heard similar voices before the table at the restaurant caught fire tonight. Are you using them to kill your clients?" asked Scully as she watched me.  
  
"No, I work to get people into stable relationships. The cupids help by increasing the feel-good emotions of the couples, to help cement the relationship. The creatures you saw in my kitchen are an intermediate form of the cupids," I explained.  
  
"Cupids look like them?!" asked Scully, who no doubt had pictures of fat little cherubs in her head.  
  
"Well, let me get one and you'll be able to tell the difference," I said before calling out, "Tavish!"  
  
We both heard the hum of small wings before he whirred into view. He settled down onto the coffee table between us and bowed first to me, then to Scully. Her mouth had fallen open once she had caught sight of him. She leaned in closer to get a better look at him, but pulled away when he pulled his bagpipes around his shoulder and started puffing away. The drone of the pipes increased as the bag filled with air before he launched into a lively rendition of Danny Boy. Scully just sat there speechless until he finished, and clapped her hands when Tavish was finished.  
  
"So he's a real cupid? Can I hold him?" she asked as she tried to decide if she was just hallucinating.  
  
Tavish graciously hopped onto her outstretched hand and posed for Scully as she touched his wings and head. "So, how exactly do they act as cupids?" she asked while eyeing his bow and quiver of arrows.  
  
I took a deep breath and told her. By the time I was finished, she had interrupted me with many questions, and she still had Tavish sitting in the palm of her hand. I had the sinking suspicion that she had gotten attached to the little guy. Thankfully, not long after Tavish's appearance she holstered her gun.  
  
Scully looked at her watch and stood up, saying, "I think I need to be going now. We'll be following you and Mulder tomorrow as you go about your business, but you need to be on your guard."  
  
I nodded silently, and followed her to the front door. She peered past me toward the kitchen. The sounds of the carousing had slowed during our talk, to the point where I had almost forgotten about them. I shut the door after Scully, and locked it this time. I did not need anyone else walking in on me tonight.  
  
After shutting off the living room lights, I trudged back to my kitchen to find a host of soused monkeys covering every surface. It was then a thought occurred to me.  
  
"By the way, where are the cupid and imp I had in the bird cage?" I asked.  
  
"The cupid we kicked out because he was an idiot, and we dealt with the imp," answered a monkey who was carrying around his own teensy martini glass.  
  
"Good to know. I'm going to bed, and my walls had better not be covered in purple and green paint like the last time. Or porn," I added as I turned out the light and trudged off to my bedroom. When had my life turned into such a surreal experience? Oh yeah, it was when I didn't kick the little moochers out on their little feathered butts.   
  
February 13 Togetherness, Inc. 10:05 am  
  
Mulder was searching my rhododendron in vain when Rob arrived. I stood and greeted him, saying, "Rob, good to have you here!"  
  
Rob grinned while saying, "Hey, what's life without a little danger?" He shook my hand and sat down in one of my chairs and turned his attention to Mulder, who was still looking for signs of life in my potted plant. "Who's he?"  
  
"Rob, this is Mulder, who is a horticulturist. He thinks he saw some nasty beetle on my plant and is checking to see if I have to gas the little buggers," I replied smoothly, hoping that Mulder knew enough about plants to be able to pull off that little ruse. That is, if he heard me.  
  
Rob leaned forward and said softly, "Um, I'm not exactly...I mean, I don't-"  
  
"I know, he's here to visit me from out of state, and I thought that we could make it a day out at the golf course," I replied.  
  
"Oh, ok," Rob replied, relieved that I hadn't gotten him mixed up with someone else.   
  
We decided to drive Mulder's car since it was the biggest one between the three of us. I put my golf bag and trolley in the trunk before settling into the front passenger's seat. Mulder expertly pulled the car into traffic and turned onto Grant Street, which was the most direct route to the golf course. We were halfway there when an older Ford sedan sped past us in the left lane before jumping in front of us and practically stopping. We all shouted various insults as Mulder stood the car practically on its nose to avoid hitting the car ahead of us. The elderly drive raised her middle finger at us before speeding away.  
  
"That's it, I've had it with that old bitch!" snarled Mulder as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Hey, Danny, can you get me a name and address for a license? It's M-R-F-2-4-5-7. Yeah, as soon as you can, thanks."  
  
"I take it she's been pestering you?" asked Rob from the backseat.  
  
"That's a mild understatement. She's tried to cut me off once before, and it looks like she's upping her tactics," replied Mulder.  
  
"I hope the police can knock some sense into her," I said, sore from being thrown against my seatbelt.   
  
MacTaggart Golf Course 10:30 am  
  
I must admit that Mulder drove sensibly, which helped relieve some of my tension. I looked forward to classes at the golf course since I was ready for spring to arrive. The unseasonably warm weather for the past week was lifting my mood, which was helping me to continue functioning.  
  
Rob got out of the car and walked beside me to the Pro Shop, where they sell all of the spiffier-looking golfing equipment. I had purchased my clubs from a flea market, but I didn't mind not having new clubs since I wasn't able to golf very much. Mostly I only had time to work my way through the nine-hole par-3 course, and I enjoyed it mostly because of the view.  
  
As we entered the shop, Noah, the resident instructor looked up from a catalogue on the counter and smiled at us. "Good to see you here today. I'm Noah Wootton, and the rental set is ready to go," he said as he shook hands with Rob. He looked at me and glanced curiously at Mulder who was standing behind me.  
  
"Noah, this is Fox Mulder. He's here visiting me this week," I explained as they shook hands. Both men muttered "good to meet you" and turned back to me. "I think we'll need a set for my friend here as well," I said, wondering about the odd feeling I was getting from the two men. Rob was just standing there, grinning bemusedly.  
  
Noah nodded his head and walked into the storage room where they kept the rental equipment. Once he was out of sight, Mulder leaned over and hissed, "I don't play golf!"  
  
I smiled and replied, "Too bad." We started with the driving range, which was conveniently located near the pro shop. Noah demonstrated the basics of how to hold the club, how to stand, and how to swing. He then proceeded to hit a couple of balls before standing back and letting Rob take a whack at it. Rob steadied himself in front of the tee, then swept the club back and hit the ball squarely in the center of the club's face. We cheered as the ball soared down the green lawn, stopping between the 100 and 200 yard markers.  
  
"That was excellent!" cheered Noah as Rob eagerly set another ball on the tee. Mulder was starting to get a nervous expression on his face, which I assumed was related to his lack of golfing experience.  
  
"Why don't you take a swing or two?" I asked him sweetly. He gave me a lop- sided grin and pulled out his driver. He mimicked the stance and swing that Noah had demonstrated, and soon we were watching his ball soaring down toward the 200 yard marker.  
  
"Very good!" remarked Noah in less than exuberant tones. I shot him a curious look, but he continued to coach Rob's swing. Mulder teed up again and sent the next ball veering off to the left of the range, in the direction of the parking lot. There was a crashing noise, then a car alarm proceeded to disturb the peace of the day.   
  
Scully lowered her binoculars and stared in surprise at the cracked windshield that now blocked her view.  
  
"Smooth move, Ex-lax," muttered Mackels as he worked to shut off the alarm.  
  
"I can't believe he hit us from way over there," said Scully.  
  
"That's gotta be the worst drive I've ever seen," grumbled Mackels.   
  
"Ooops!" said Mulder. His embarrassment faded once the alarm stopped shrieking.  
  
"Hey, stuff like that happens all the time," said Noah.  
  
"Remind me not to park close to the range in the future," muttered Rob.  
  
I shook my head and teed up. Most of the time, I was lucky to get the ball to the 100-yard marker. Now I could see the benefits of having a slower swing.  
  
After a half hour on the driving range, we wheeled our golf bags over to the par-3 course. I was rather fond of it, since it was short and didn't have very many pushy men trying to play through. As Noah helped Rob get familiarized with the tee box, Mulder walked over to the ball washing contraption and started poking at it. I sighed inwardly and walked over to stop him from embarrassing me. We weren't actually dating, but having him act like such a spaz would definitely reflect on me.  
  
"Mulder, it's used to wash dirt off golf balls. Leave it alone," I hissed under my breath as I grabbed his hand. Big mistake. The next thing I knew, his left arm was wrapped around my back, supporting me as he planted a big kiss on my lips. I was so shocked, I didn't struggle. After a few moments, he pulled back and winked at me.  
  
"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" he asked with a smirk.  
  
"I don't know, the only thing that came to mind was the word 'cootieboogers'," I replied calmly.   
  
Mackels discreetly lowered his binoculars so he could watch Scully's reaction to the public display of affection. Judging by the firm set to her jaw, he figured that any jokes about the kiss would only get him a bed in the hospital. Some movement caught his eye, and he raised his binoculars to observe the action.  
  
"That golf instructor doesn't look too happy," he remarked neutrally.  
  
"That's an understatement," muttered Scully. Once Mulder let go of me, I returned to my golf bag to get my #1 driver out. I loved to hit balls with it, since they would actually go up in the air instead of burning the turf. Plus, if Mulder tried to get mushy with me again, I could stop him from a distance.  
  
Noah was helping Rob orient himself and aim at the first hole. Mulder walked over to them to watch while I finished zipping up my bag. Just as Rob started to swing his driver, Noah made an odd noise, causing Rob's shot to veer off towards a nearby tree. The next thing I knew, Mulder was lying flat on his back with a stunned expression on his face.  
  
I dropped my driver and rushed to his side. He was unconscious, and the golf ball had left a detailed imprint of all its dimples on his forehead. I was checking for his pulse when he muttered weakly, "Kiss it and make it better?"  
  
Leaning over, I said, "In your dreams." Then I felt a burning pain along my right arm and screamed.   
  
By the time Scully and Mackels reached the group, Noah had put out the fire on Molly's arm. Scully leaned over and examined the skin, wincing at the angry red color of the flesh under the burned sleeve. Thankfully she had fainted, so they didn't have her thrashing or screaming while Scully examined her. She quickly checked Mulder, who was trying to sit up and failing miserably. Mackels dialed 911 and handed the phone to her so she could tell the paramedics what to expect upon arrival.  
  
The next half hour whirled past in a haze of sirens and questions from emergency physicians as they worked to stabilize Molly and determine the damage done to Mulder's head. Mulder lucked out with a simple concussion, but the doctors warned him of dire consequences if he didn't take good care of himself. Molly was admitted to the intensive care unit for observation, since she had gone into shock during transport.  
  
Scully was sitting in the waiting room, sipping a cup of coffee when Molly's attending physician walked in and sat down in a seat across from her.  
  
"Agent Scully, I'm Dr. Kerns. Miss Lewis as suffered 2nd degree burns along the anterior surface of her right arm, along with some blistering on her right side from the heat. Can you tell me what started the fire?" he asked.  
  
"I had my eyes on her the whole time, and I saw nothing that would cause her arm to go up in flames," replied Scully wearily.  
  
Dr. Kerns nodded and said, "I appreciate your work, Agent Scully, but we need for you to find whoever has been doing this and stop them. Whatever it takes, please stop them." He got up and walked back into the intensive care unit, leaving Scully to her thoughts. A moment later, a hand tapped her on her shoulder and a cup of coffee appeared quickly. She looked up to find Jackson gently smiling at her.  
  
"Jackson, I thought you had office appointments today," she said in surprise.  
  
"I did, but I'm also on call for emergencies today. I got the call about a burn victim and hurried over," he replied as he settled onto the couch beside her.  
  
"She caught fire in front of Mulder, a golf instructor, and her client. We haven't found any traces of accelerant, but some of those leave no trace because they burn so hot. But Molly's arm didn't show evidence of the temperatures you would find with fuels," mused Scully.  
  
Jackson sat there in silence before saying, "You know, I've seen some strange things in my life, but I remember seeing what looked like a small, 2-inch person flying around a year ago. I noticed it because it had red wings and a tail," said Jackson quietly. Scully was about to ask a question, but he continued. "I only saw it for a second before it burst into flame and flew into a pile of leaves."  
  
"Was there a fire?" asked Scully.  
  
"It damaged half of the city park down by Water Street and Fourrel Avenue. I never said much about it, since I didn't want to end up in the psych ward with a thorazine drip in my arm. Maybe you're not looking for a person, per se, but rather those little creatures," he said softly. He then ducked his head before saying, "You probably think I'm crazy now."  
  
"No, I don't think you're crazy. I mean, I would if I hadn't seen some similar creatures at Molly's house last night," answered Scully as she sipped the hot coffee.  
  
"She has them in her house?!" exclaimed Jackson.  
  
"Not the type that you described. I'm not sure what to make of them, but I don't think she keeps the dangerous ones near her," said Scully.  
  
Jackson was about to argue with her, but was interrupted by the arrival of Detective Mackels.   
  
"Agent Scully, we've finished questioning the witnesses," stated Mackels as he plopped down into chair across from Scully. He nodded his greeting to Jackson. "They didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but our video of the incident turned up something I'd like for you to see."  
  
"What do you have?" asked Scully as she rose from her chair.  
  
"I'm not sure what it is, but it may be related to the tapes we sent your partner, the ones with the odd background voices," replied Mackels as he led her out of the waiting room. They were intercepted by Noah Wootton, who was arguing with a couple of nurses.  
  
"I'm not a suspect!" he yelled at the admitting nurse, who had a no- nonsense look on her face.  
  
"It's okay, Connie, he hasn't done anything," Mackels said quietly. Connie nodded and stepped aside so Noah could walk past her. He was aiming for the hall to the waiting room, but Mackels put his hand out and caught him as he rushed by. "I want to have a word with you before you go in there."   
  
After picking Mulder up from the ER waiting room, Scully drove to the police station behind Mackels' car, hoping that Mulder wouldn't get sick on the way. He had to be kept awake for a few more hours, just to make sure that he didn't have any ruptured blood vessels in his brain.  
  
Once inside the building, Scully helped a sluggish Mulder navigate the maze- like corridors until they found the audio-video room. Mackels and the technician were already inside, working to slow the video to where they could enlarge the picture.  
  
"Any luck yet?" asked Scully as she settled Mulder into a chair. He moaned softly and slumped down, trying to avoid bright lights.  
  
"Yes, we've got it down to the frames just before Molly caught fire. If you look in the upper left of the screen, you can see something small like a dragonfly, hovering nearby. In the next frame, it has caught fire and is speeding toward her. It's good that she moved when she did, or else it would have caught her square in the back," said the tech, who was alternately clicking his mouse and typing commands into his computer.  
  
Scully was surprised by the technician's familiarity with the case. "You know Molly?"  
  
"Yeah, she walked up to me out of the blue and introduced me to the lady who is now my wife. A lot of people around here have benefited from her work, paid or unpaid," he replied.  
  
"You mean she just does it without even knowing who you are?" asked Scully.  
  
"Yeah, and it's amazing how well she picks people out. It's almost like she's psychic or something," he answered.  
  
"Or something," muttered Mulder. He jumped and winced when his cell phone rang. "Mulder," he stated.  
  
"Mulder, it's Danny. I got the name for the plates you gave me. It's registered to Taryn Garner, of-"  
  
"2387 Water Street," answered Mulder.  
  
"Yeah, how did you know?" asked Danny.  
  
"Just a hunch," replied Mulder before he hung up.  
  
"Who was that?" asked Scully.  
  
"It seems that the car driven by the old bat outta hell is owned by Taryn Garner, Amanda Grammer's cousin. It looks like she lied for Taryn," replied Mulder.  
  
"Amanda Grammer?" asked the technician.  
  
"Yeah, what about her?" asked Mackels.  
  
"Amanda died six years ago in a barn fire," answered the tech.  
  
"Amanda has been working at Togetherness, Inc. for the past two years," said Scully in her 'you're mistaken' tone of voice.  
  
"A building contractor just found the bodies a couple weeks ago. The lab just identified them this afternoon as Amanda Grammer and Gary Spence," answered the technician slowly.  
  
"Well, then who has been posing as Amanda for the past six years?" demanded Scully.  
  
The technician shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know."  
  
"The plot just continues to thicken," muttered Mulder.   
  
2387 Water Street Mackels knocked on the front door, only to have it swing open at his touch. He unholstered his gun and motioned for Scully to cover him. Mulder followed at a discreet distance. He was about to enter the house himself when Dr. Jackson Weller drove up and parked behind Scully's car. Jackson hopped out of his car and ran up to Mulder.  
  
"Mulder, you really shouldn't be out wandering around," he said quickly.  
  
"I'm just following Scully and Mackels, to make sure that nothing sneaks out past them," answered Mulder. Any other words he would have said were cut short when Jackson clamped his hand over Mulder's mouth and jabbed a needle into the agent's neck. Mulder struggled for a few seconds before going completely limp.  
  
"You really should have stayed in the hospital," whispered the doctor as he positioned Mulder to look as though he had passed out.   
  
Scully had already covered most of the ground floor when Mackels waved her over to the basement door. He entered first, flipping on the light switch as he cautiously made his way down the stairs. Scully took a moment to shove a piece of wood into the space between the door and its hinges, so the door couldn't just be shut on them.  
  
"Scully, come down here and take a look at this!" exclaimed Mackels.  
  
She scurried down the steps and hurried to his side. The detective was pointing at a table and workbench that was covered in makeup and facial prosthetics. On the corkboard near the table they could see a mishmash of photos of Amanda. They could also see several face molds and a vat for heating and mixing the latex.  
  
Scully reached out with the tip of a pen and picked up a mask that looked eerily like Mulder's driving nemesis. "Do you remember seeing Amanda at the waiting room?" she asked.  
  
"I didn't see her, but that doesn't mean she wasn't there," answered Mackels as he reached for his radio. They both raced upstairs, oblivious to the many eyes that had watched them from hiding places around the room.  
  
"The fedz!!" exclaimed one small imp.  
  
"Ohh noooo!!" cried another imp nearby. They both looked at each other and started laughing uproariously, with the others joining in.  
  
After they had finished their cackling, they flew over to the table to await Taryn's return. They did not notice the gas seeping into the room until it was too late.   
  
Mercy Hospital  
  
Once Scully had admitted Mulder to the ER, she hurried to the ICU waiting room to join Mackels' search for Taryn. She strode through the doors that kept people from walking into the sterile environment and looked for a nurse. She could hear people arguing, and followed the sounds.  
  
As she approached the nurse and detective, she noted that two uniformed officers were standing near the drapes that were separating Molly from the other patients. "No, you cannot just start poking at the patients in here! They are not supposed to be disturbed."  
  
Scully pulled out her badge and flipped it open. "Nurse...Collins, we're looking for the person responsible for all the burning deaths. We believe she may be hiding out in here, waiting for another opportunity to strike."  
  
"If they stay here, they need to be wearing gowns. Miss Lewis' immune system is compromised with this burn, and we need to reduce the possibility of infection," argued Collins.  
  
"Very well, if they put on gowns and masks, will that help?" snapped Mackels.  
  
"That would be a start," acceded the nurse. The two officers followed her toward the restrooms, where the racks holding the supplies were located.  
  
Scully quickly checked in on Molly before searching the area. She had almost walked past the nurses' station when something caught her eye. Motioning to Mackels, she got down on her knees and pulled the unconscious woman towards her.  
  
"It's Nurse Collins! But who did Brent and Goff go with?" asked Mackels as he pulled out his gun. Scully checked for a pulse, and when she found one she laid the nurse on the floor and pulled out her own sidearm. Mackels led the way down the hall, with Scully covering his back.  
  
A few moments later, Nurse Collins' eyes opened and she smiled.   
  
My eyes hurt and my head felt heavy when a pair of hands began to shake my left arm. I struggled to open my eyes, and found the frantic face of the duty nurse looking down at me.  
  
"The police are looking for the person who attacked you! They think she's somewhere on this floor," said Collins as she lowered the bed rail.  
  
I could hardly lift my head, but her arm slipped under my shoulders and lifted me expertly. But not expertly enough to keep my right arm from shooting bolts of pain into my chest. I cried out in pain, but was cut off when she clapped her hand over my mouth.  
  
"We must be quiet, dear Molly, or else the police will hear us," she crooned in an odd sing-song way.  
  
I didn't know what to do other than to press the call button. Collins saw my finger pressing on the button and laughed. "Who's going to hear your call? They don't have enough nurses to handle the regular outpatients, let alone the serious cases. It's just you and me now, and a little retribution."  
  
Great, now I had a crazed nurse trying to abduct me. It was almost worse than being kissed by Mulder. Almost.   
  
Nurse Collins looked annoyed and Officers Brent and Goff looked confused as Scully and Mackels ordered them against the wall. Scully quickly sidled up next to the nurse and started tugging at the skin around her jaw and neck. Collins didn't suffer abuse from anyone, and Scully soon found herself on the floor with a broken nose and a quickly swelling right eye. Mackels was yelling at Collins while the two officers had pulled their guns as well. Under the clamor, Scully could hear a noise that she couldn't quite place.  
  
"Evewyone, jutht thut up!" she ordered. The men turned to look at her, and as they did, they heard the call alarm being pressed.  
  
Scully struggled to her feet and rushed back towards Molly's bed.   
  
I held onto the call button for dear life, but the nurse easily pulled it from my grasp. She grabbed my legs and pulled them to the edge of the bed before lifting me to my feet. I swooned and started to fall over, but she wrapped her left arm around my waist and started dragging me down the hallway. I could hear shouts around the corner behind us, but they didn't sound very close.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" I asked, since I couldn't quite figure out what was going on.  
  
"It's all your fault she's dead. You killed her," grunted the nurse as she lugged me beside her.  
  
"Who's dead?" I asked sadly.  
  
"Amanda. You killed her," repeated the nurse insistently.  
  
"Amanda?! What happened to her? Was she attacked today?" I asked, shocked beyond belief.  
  
"You set her up with HIM, and they died. And it's all your fault!" hissed the nurse as she hauled me around a corner.  
  
"Her current boyfriend? I didn't set her up with him," I gasped as her grip around my ribs tightened.  
  
"No, the one from six years ago. The one she died with," grunted the nurse as she opened a door into an adjoining hallway.  
  
"But Amanda didn't die six years ago," I argued. "She's been working at Togetherness for the past 2 years."  
  
"Amanda never worked for you," sneered the nurse. Then her voice changed as she said, "I did."  
  
"But, but I thought you were Amanda!" I said weakly as she paused in front of a bank of elevators.  
  
"No, I assumed her identity after she was dead," answered the woman smugly. The indicator above the door registered the first level, making my stomach drop. I tried to struggle against her grip, but I didn't have enough fight left in me as she drug me into the elevator.   
  
Scully and Mackels found Molly's bed empty. They immediately ordered the entire hospital sealed off and divided the available police officers into groups to search each floor.  
  
As they secured the first floor, Scully pondered the situation as they searched for Taryn and Molly.  
  
"Aw of her pweviouth victimth wewe buwned wif fiwe. Ith thewe an inthinwrator on the pwemitheth?" asked Scully as she worked on clearing her nose..  
  
"Yes, in the basement level. But she's never used anything like that before. Why would she start now?" asked Mackels as he hurried to keep up with Scully.  
  
"Wight now, sthe'th pwobably wevealing hew mathter plan to Mowwy ath sthe pwepawesth to kiww hew," answered Scully absentmindedly.  
  
"Really?" said Mackels.  
  
"Tawyn Gawnew hath been pwanning thith fow a wong time. Sthe'wh not going to kiww Mowwy befowe tewwing hew why aw of thith hath happened," replied Scully.  
  
"Let's find her before she finishes gloating," urged Mackels as he opened the door to the fire stairs.   
  
I had to admit, being the damsel in distress really bites. Amanda or whoever she was, dropped me onto a low table near a row of old filing cabinets. I still couldn't lift my head without becoming dizzy and nauseous, and my arm hurt terribly from being banged into doorways on the way down. I thought I was in big trouble when I saw the humongous bugs flitting around. Then I realized they weren't bugs.  
  
"Who are you?" I asked, hoping to stall for more time. I hoped that she was truly deranged, so she would take enough time to explaining her actions that the police could find us.  
  
"If you must know, I'm Taryn Garner, Amanda's cousin. We looked enough alike that I could pass as her without wearing too much makeup," she said conversationally as she pulled the mask off her face. I was torn between shock at her duplicity and rage that she was attacking me for something I didn't do.  
  
"How did she die?" I asked.  
  
"She and Gary Spence, whom you had introduced her to, had gone out to Kerrack's barn to make out," answered Taryn.  
  
"That's the barn that burned down..." I said. "But their bodies weren't found after the fire."  
  
"That's right, because there was a lower level in the barn. Everything on the main level fell on top of them as the barn burned," said Taryn gleefully.  
  
"You set the fire?" I asked. When she nodded yes, I shuddered. "Then you're responsible for their deaths, not me."  
  
"NO!! You killed them because you put them together, knowing that he was the one for ME!" she screamed, her face twisted in a sudden rage.  
  
I closed my eyes, sickened by what I was hearing. I had met Taryn years ago and had noticed her instability, and began chiding myself for not picking up on the difference in Amanda since then. I felt something land on my cheek, and I opened my eyes to find an imp sneering at me. Okay, now it had officially gotten worse than Mulder's kiss.   
  
Once they had reached the basement level, Scully and Mackels had taken one hallway while Brent and Goff took the other. For ten minutes, they searched the endless storage rooms and boiler rooms until they heard voices. Creeping closer, they could see Molly sprawled across a table while Taryn sat in a chair, picking glue and latex from her face. Seeing no weapons, Mackels and Scully leapt out and shouted, "Freeze! Put your hands above your head!"  
  
Taryn sneered at them, but obeyed their command. Scully started toward Molly when she heard a blood-chilling sound. She suddenly saw that she was surrounded by a swarm of what Molly had described as imps. They all had red wings, tails, and eerily enough, their eyes glowed a hellish red.  
  
"What the-"said Mackels in surprise.  
  
"Put down your guns, or I'll set them aflame and finish her off!" yelled Taryn.  
  
"Mackews, do what sthe thayth," ordered Scully. He looked rebellious, but he did as he was told.  
  
"Good, now we can finish what we were doing," sneered Taryn.  
  
"And that wath?" asked Scully, hoping that Brent and Goff would show up soon.  
  
"Kill the rest of Molly's friends," crowed Taryn, her eyes gleaming with evil glee. She got up from her chair and pulled Molly up from the table. To Scully's horror, the imps hovering nearby burst into flame.   
  
Once the imps caught fire, I thought we were goners. Taryn started dragging me back toward the elevators, but I couldn't do anything to stop her. If I survived this, I told myself that self-defense lessons were going to be a top priority. Scully and Detective Mackels were trying to follow us, but the imps got in their way. Taryn was laughing the whole time, and I watched as Scully tried to keep the imps from setting her clothes and hair on fire.  
  
"Taryn! Please stop!" I cried out, horrified at what was happening. She continued to laugh until I heard an odd noise, like a watermelon being broken open on the ground. Her grip around my ribs loosened before we fell over. I screamed in pain as her weight fell on my burned arm. A pair of hands began to pull her off me as a couple people passed us. I could hear a strange hissing noise, and looking up, I saw Dr. Kerns and Mulder spraying the imps with fire extinguishers.  
  
A large hand gripped my chin and directed my gaze away from the action. I looked up into Noah's concerned eyes, and noticed that Tavish was sitting just inside his shirt collar. My eyes traveled down his chest to see a small arrow sticking out. I gasped when another arrow caught me right in the heart. My vision went blank for a few moments, then I could see Tavish pumping his arm in a celebratory gesture. I was about to say something to him when Noah leaned over and kissed me full on my mouth. I must say, it was even better than anything I could have imagined.   
  
I got released from the hospital a few days later. I was constantly surrounded by coworkers and friends who dropped by to visit. The official story was that Taryn had killed Amanda and Gary and had assumed her appearance. The killings started when the Kennack farm was sold to a developer and the contractor started getting rid of the debris from the barn. Their bodies would have been identified earlier, but workers had assumed that they were the remains of the animals that had died that night.  
  
Taryn remained in a coma for a day before she was taken off life support. Dr. Kerns had struck her with a fire extinguisher, and it had caused massive hemorrhaging that couldn't be controlled. She was buried in her family plot near where Amanda was laid to rest. People were glad that they hadn't had to endure the mess of a trial, and returned to their normal lives.  
  
When the police returned to Taryn's house to gather evidence, the first two policemen to enter the house collapsed after a few minutes. The rest of the investigative team opened windows to air out the house. It turns out that the entire building had been filled with nitrous oxide, laughing gas. The police never did find out why it had been pumped into the house. They also hadn't been able to recover any of the imps' bodies from the hospital. I didn't mind, because I didn't want to have to explain my cupids. The agents kept mum about the subject. I guess they couldn't say much, since they didn't have any proof. The second big surprise was that Dr. Jackson disappeared that night. Rumor has it that he left town in a big hurry.  
  
I've taken a few weeks off from work to recuperate, and Noah has been with me the entire time. I'm glad that our 'early spring' turned out to be a lull in the wintry storms, because Noah doesn't have to be at the golf course everyday. At first I didn't like having another person around all the time, but he's grown on me faster than I could have ever thought possible. I've always liked him, but he was always dating other people. Other people are already talking about marriage, but I want to take it slow and get to know him really well. I'm not too fond of surprises.   
  
Government Fleet car On the way back to DC  
  
Mulder popped another seed into his mouth as he listened to Scully discuss the loose ends of the case. "After I got his employment record from the hospital, I called the phone number listed as a previous employer. Get this, it was for the Jericho Institute."  
  
"The research group who debunks paranormal phenomena?" asked Mulder incredulously.  
  
"The very same group. They denied having employed a Jackson Weller, and have no knowledge of why he listed their phone number in his file," remarked Scully in her detached clinical voice.  
  
"I had the cupids and monkeys check around. It seems that all of the local imps disappeared the same night that Dr. Weller left. They're not heartbroken over it," remarked Mulder, glad that he could at least talk about the existence of the creatures without Scully's skepticism interfering.  
  
"I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't gas all the imps that were hiding out at Taryn's house," remarked Scully as she pored over another crime scene report.  
  
"What did they list as the official cause of the burning deaths?" asked Mulder as he spat out the empty seed husk and popped another seed in his mouth.  
  
"They speculate that Taryn somehow got an accelerant on their clothes, a la Cecil L'Ively," answered Scully.  
  
"Even though the facts indicate otherwise?" asked Mulder.  
  
"There weren't any imps left over from the attack to prove anything. We agreed upon this explanation as being the simplest one to explain what happened," Scully replied.  
  
"So you're willfully engaging in a campaign of misinformation?" asked Mulder in a playful tone.  
  
"Mulder, we can't prove what really happened, and you saw what Taryn kept in her basement! Besides, she did have some fuels that would fit the bill," she argued.  
  
"I wonder, did she use it on her victims, or did she make the imps drink it to make them more flammable?" mused Mulder.  
  
"I don't think we'll ever know, Mulder," answered Scully wearily as she shut the folder. Mulder's suitcase  
  
A small flashlight clicked on and small hands began rustling through the clothes until the slick sound of paper was reached. A small form wiggled into the magazine, dragging the flashlight with it.  
  
"I knew it! He'll definitely be useful to me," gloated Syphilie as she perused the Penthouse that Mulder had kept hidden in the lining of the suitcase, so Scully wouldn't see it. "I think I'm going to have fun wreaking some havoc. But first, I need to create more of my children," she said as she eyed Andy. He had already metamorphosed into a monkey, and his eyes widened in terror as Syphilie's attentions were focused on him.  
  
The flashlight clicked off, leaving two red eyes glowing in the dark. 


End file.
